A tender moment caught

Conversation with Pei Xuan!

2006-10-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

Tricia says:
pei xuan!
Tricia says:
:D
-peixuan(: says:
hey!
-peixuan(: says:
:)
Tricia says:
do u miss me?!
Tricia says:
:D
-peixuan(: says:
hahaha
-peixuan(: says:
only a few hrs
Tricia says:
-.-
Tricia says:
stupid girl..
Tricia says:
dont talk to u liao..
Tricia says:
LOL..
-peixuan(: says:
lol
-peixuan(: says:
u crazy ar
Tricia says:
lol
-peixuan(: says:
tmr i mus stay away from u
Tricia says:
hoi...!
Tricia says:
lol
-peixuan(: says:
if not i will get e diesease
-peixuan(: says:
hahaha
Tricia says:
what disease?
-peixuan(: says:
crazy
-peixuan(: says:
haha
Tricia says:
.....
-peixuan(: says:
plus a smell
-peixuan(: says:
lols!!
Tricia says:
hoi...! you smelly..
-peixuan(: says:
haha
-peixuan(: says:
u lor

Pei Xuan is getting very funny...

Freaky yoghurt

2006-10-31T18:37:00.000+08:00

I got freaked out today during tutorial.

I guess no one knows...

Well, who bothers?

Ha ha.

I can't function properly when I'm freaked out.

The next time you want to upset me, you know exactly what to do.

--

Maybe you could offer me some yoghurt.

I might feel a little better.

--

And, I just remembered, I don't like soft toys just like apple doesn't..

Work it

2006-10-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

I want to know how it works

I want to understand

Bird updates

2006-10-28T12:14:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday Xin Zhi! The famous Lotus!!! Ha Ha. Zhi...
Your body looks quite hot now but the moment you talk...
You're still like the old you...
Still funny and innocent as before...
Lol.

--

Right! Shall blog about what I did after school yesterday in detail! (I have this spur to do so)

I have no idea when I became "vera's secret evill twin sister" (quoted from big bird's blog). I don't even know who she is but her name makes me wonder how she looks and sounds like.

First I met up with bird at west mall so that I could have my lunch. I was so hungry. We then went to the cinema to check if there were any movies we can watch. I chose that sinking of Japan movie but it was scheduled at a time that was not very convenient. So we skipped it. We initially thought of having popcorns and nachos. Neh...

Then we went to Causeway Point! Ha Ha. Why..? Cause its one of the nearest and biggest one! =D And we have not been there for quite a while, or is it me? We again, went to check the time for the movie but decided not to watch after all. Heh. We preferred to walk around. I bought a lot of colour pens from Popular. Dan bought his box of precious pencils apparently after deciding for a very very long time. Talk about women being indecisive. Lol.

I bought two photo frames and 2 purses. I planned to give one to Linda. =D Surprise surprise...

I treated Dan to his favourite Chicken/Duck/Beef/Turkey floss bread from breadtalk. It was quite fun, yesterday, although our legs were buckling by the time we decided to leave. Oh, Bird bought himself a new pair of sneakers! Are those called sneakers? Shoes? I thought it didn't look nice initially but he carried it off well. He actually looked good with it but I didn't want to tell him. He'll show me that birdy face if I did so. Lol... =DD Lalala.

I had a really deep and gooooooooood night sleep yesterday cause I was extremely tired. I actually ate my dinner with my eyes half closed. Not that the food wasn't appetizing...

Someone called me when I almost drifted off to oblivion. I forgot what I said to the sender. Hee

Have a nice day everyone!

Sports & Wellness

2006-10-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

I chose netball as my S&W sport.

The last time I exercised was when I....

You won't want to know, I assure.

=D

I hurt my toe...and its bleeding internally.

I lost touch with running...

The first words of my coach was...

"to start off, two rounds around the sports complex"

I felt like she was telling me to run 10 rounds...

I admit I'm quite lazy in this sense...

--

Gonna meet big bird for lunch...

Stupid bird...

--

Happy 21st Birthday, Jason TAY.

Today is your big day and you're not around.

=(

Thoughts

2006-10-26T18:54:00.000+08:00

I have a couple of nice tutors.

I'm just wondering...

Why are all my biz comm tutors so weird...

--

Have you ever felt like you don't want to know anything at all? You don't want to communicate, don't want to feel, don't want to see. Yet, you hesitate in your actions when you meet the situation. Then you decide to communicate, feel and see after all.

--

I wonder how they have the power to shine, I can't see them.

Moody

2006-10-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

I'm doing everything the wrong way today

Certainly not my day...

The rain has subsided...I hear a bird beckoning to his friend outside my window.

"Hey you, you sulky bird, come out and play!"

"Today's not my day!" Sulky spat.

"Oh, com'on! You silly dope!" Birdy urged.

"Be quiet already!!" *Growls like a lion*

Birdy got a shock and flew away in haste at the speed of lightning, leaving a drizzle of smelly feathers at the spot he stood.

Sulky watched the feathers fall and grimaced. It thought to itself, "don't birds ever bathe? Yuck."

Updates

2006-10-23T19:21:00.000+08:00

Econs tutorial today was fun =D but a tad too draggy...

Met Apple after school today to pass her some magic wonder textbook. Lol.

Her hair looks really cool...I like it. Check it out! She has it on her blog.
But you got to see it in person...hee..

I joked with her on some lecturers and tutors...hope she didn't find them lame..lol.

I'm gonna have to choose my 2nd year elective this week. Either International Economics and Finance (IEF) or FIT, I can't remember what it stands for. Ha Ha.

Most prolly gonna take IEF. Whether I'll cope or not....

I think I'll choose that first...I'll worry about the coping part later on...lol.

Anyone wants to take me out for lunch/dinner? I seriously need some social activities...

I have a dysfunctional life o.O

One thing

2006-10-22T13:46:00.000+08:00

Why do we judge people? Why do we care what others think?

Who gives everyone the right to say something?

I admit that I have done my fair share. But, why?

Is this jealousy or just some ridicules of dislike for people we have not met?

Nothing feels worse than judging someone.

So, is it possible to not judge?

This is a question I often ask myself. I don't understand this whole thing yet sometimes I do it. I need to stop. What about now?

Does being a movie star make you better than anyone? Does being an outstanding elite make you better than anyone? Does being a basketball champ make you better than anyone? Does wearing a white collar and make-up make you better than anyone?

Can I safely say no to the above mentioned. Based on the fact that nobody is better than anyone.

We judge people by the way they talk, the way they smile, they way they eat, the way they walk, the words they use. Why? I don't understand. A person who swears doesn't make him a bad person. Right?

Why do we judge so many things based on what see on the exterior? Why do we look at attributes they have. Why do we care how they talk, where they hang out, where they go?

The list of prerequisites is endless.

A habit I'd like to kick

2006-10-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what I'm supposed to sound like, or what I should say. All I know is that the more you tell me about myself and the more I know about you, the more I wonder why you or anyone else should desire my company. I'm not a very nice girl, am I?

Some utterances

2006-10-21T11:00:00.000+08:00

I've decided to blog after someone related me to the word 'lazy'.

--

"You better blog or I'll..."

"You'll what?" I goaded.

"I'll rewire your house so that every time you switch on an appliance, heavy metal music blasts at earsplitting decibels throughout your house."

--

Isn't it a good day today? I mean, besides all that haze...

I'm currently listening to Minnie Riperton's Loving You. I like the chirpings in the song. Yea yea, like anyone bothers...

It's deepavali today and it's also Sathish's birthday!
Happy Birthday Sathish!

I've been wondering what kind of girl I will be when I'm around the age of twenty.
Will I be bolder, more arrogant or will I still be like what I am today. I have the slightest instinct that most guys have a liking towards demure and reserved girls. I'm not saying that I am as dittoed... Well, maybe I should learn to be more quiet and modest...no?

When I was younger I dreamt of a great career; a husband and children. I met and married the man of my dreams and together we planned to have four kids. My first kid, I named her trish.

Kidding...

Our society places emphasis on looks, abilities and being the same as everyone else. Sometimes I portray it as having impossible standards but, I also feel the pressure to conform to these 'ideals of perfection'. Sometimes trying leaves me feeling less perfect. Sometimes it deters me from having dreams that are actually, too realistic to happen.

--

You know how some people will gush about the beauty of a woman.

"Oh, a woman's beauty is most perceptible!"

"Yeah?"

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty is reflected in her soul."

Amused

"Ahhhh, the beauty of a woman, so beauuutiful!"

Unbelievable, I thought. Just unbelievable.

It also seems like a society where people are just busy feathering their nest.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life...

Have a nice day everyone.

Haze Condition

2006-10-17T18:12:00.000+08:00

I was reading and watching news online on CNA.

We will expect more haze as the wind continues blowing in the southeastern direction. Most of the haze we have over here comes from Kalimantan (The Indonesian part of the island of Borneo) and it is the place with the most hot spots compared to Southern Sumatra, Riau and Jambi.

Some screenshot pictures...

Singapore is shrouded in haze!

What's PM 10?

To state in scientific terms, I learnt that its "particulate matter that is 10 microns & below"
To state simply, it means tiny particles of soot, dust, smoke, fumes and aerosols!

Quick Fact!

Up to 2.6 billion tons of carbon were released during the 1997 Indonesian Wildfires.

How much will it be this year?

The mistake

2006-10-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

You're currently with the male equivalent of me. You ever think of that? Yet another person in your life that is broken but doesn't want to be fixed. Yet another person in your life for you to anguish over, and in this case, get screwed over.

You never have time to deal with yourself, only others. Go. Go ahead and kill yourself. Literally and figuratively, see if I care.

It wasn't often someone wanted to do something for her, and she squirmed for a moment, fighting with that age-old nemesis.

That nearly put the first chink on the armor.

Skype

2006-10-11T13:21:00.000+08:00

I recently downloaded Skype so that my parents can talk to my brother who is now overseas.

I have unknown people adding me on Skype and they are a tad different...

First:
Mike: half chinese, based in Sg
Mike: over 30 - HR/operations
Mike: you?
Tricia: Im not as old
Mike: ouch i am cradle snatching....
Tricia: ...........
Mike: ...so who do u skype with?
Mike: wat turns u on...?
Tricia: certainly not men like u
Mike: ouch...
Period.

Second:
John: went for op
Tricia: i see
john: cut my foreskin
Tricia: i see
john: painful
john: cannot walk
john: u noe wat is it rite?
Tricia: i dont understand
john: huh
john: my c*ck foreskin la
john: btw u virgin?
Period.

Turn offs...

I did make some nice net friends but, they are hard to come by and they never last.

Never, because the friendship is just too thin.

--

"You're a tough nut. I'm trying to flirt with you, in case you didn't notice. And don't say you don't flirt, because-"

"I don't flirt around simply."

"We could be more than coworkers. What do you say?"

"How about never? Does never work for you?"

"Now, that's just plain not nice."

"It's true."

"You're hurting my ego."

"Just stating fact."

"Bi*ch."

"Oooh, ouch. You got me. Now get lost."

Daily record

2006-10-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

Went out with mommy today.

The haze was really bad in town. I heard the PSI was 145-150. No wonder I choked and fainted and was admitted to Raffles Hospital. Kidding...

I'm having a terrible headache...

Roxette's, Spending My Time

2006-10-05T12:51:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep last night. I turned in really early. I wanted to put an end to all my thoughts for the day.

I lied in bed, tossing and turning. Finding every position uncomfortable. To the extent of kicking my comforter off me cause I felt like something was suffocating me. Annoyed, I got out of bed, turned on the lamp and did some reading. The more I read, the more I felt I couldn't sleep.

I needed something to soothe me to a deep slumber. I turned on my PC for some music. My player had Roxette's 'Spending My Time' lined up.

I went to my bed, placed the comforter at the foot of the mattress neatly, hugged my bolster and fell asleep listening to the soulful tunes of Roxette.

Funny how "fall asleep to the sound, of tears of a clown' kept reverberating in my mind.

A silly moment

2006-10-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

I felt like a little girl yesterday. I printed out a picture and put it in my wallet. I placed it in the transparent slot where people would usually put their IC and stuffs. I looked at the masterpiece and smiled sheepishly. I then put my wallet back into the cupboard for safe keeping. I continued smiling gleefully.

I laughed so hard I think I died.

Hotels

2006-10-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

I recently recalled my one month overseas trip few years ago. My family and I lived out of hotels/inns. The best thing about hotels that could happen is that each day someone would come to tidy the room, pick up the towels, vacuum the carpet and change the sheets.

Hotels are nice simply because they are different from homes. They have wall-mounted hair dryers that roar so loud as to damage your hearing and yet simultaneously so weak as to have no effect on your hair. Well, on my hair at least. They have bath tubs without non-slips mats and sometimes you step inside and slip. They even have beds with sheets tucked so tightly that your feet are pressed flat out to the side. This reminds me of ancient Egyptians. Ha Ha. I remember how it would take me 5 minutes to hunt down the switch that controlled the entryway lamp.

The most scandalous of all! The infamous shower head. I mean this in a very clean way. :D

I dislike hotel shower heads. They are mounted onto the wall. Sometimes, turning the knob to the left makes the water come out softer. Sometimes, the water becomes scalding. Some showers deliver a weak drizzle while others come out in a forceful blast. And what is most irritating about the mounted shower heads is that they cannot be detached. Lol. :D Get the joke?

Well, maybe the sadists made shower heads this way; so they can save on water bills.

Another thing I remember, is the special lighting they put over the mirror. They highlight my eye bags and make me look like Britney Spears without make-up. Just kidding...

Now, how about hmm, toilet rolls in homes. I have this rule in my house. Whoever finishes the roll will replace it with a new one. Often, we always feel that we are the ones using the last square piece. When you reach out to get some of those paper towels and you see that its finishing, you either try to use the minimum or you forgo it. Sometimes, you forget that it's the last piece and you tear it away. You grudgingly walk to the cupboard to get a new one...sounds familiar?

Band

2006-10-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

I miss band music. I miss hearing Tokyo Kosei's, First Love Medley. I miss Helen Comley's, Jamaican Cocktail. I miss Thomas Bishop's, String Adagio. I miss Bruce Fraser's, Variations on a Scottish Folk Song. I miss playing the clarinet.

I miss sitting in a band room with percussions. I miss feeling the vibrations of the various instruments when everyone would play their parts. How the band mood would become mellow when we played tender pieces, how everyone would smile when we played a lively song.

I've almost forgotten how it feels to hear a single note sweep across a silent room. How a melody would touch my heart and bring emotions to my face. I've also, almost fogotten how a vibrato on a clarinet sounds.

It's been so long. I wonder, why I'm not playing anymore. Have I forgotten my scales? Have I forgotten what the sharps and flats are? Have I forgotten...how to play like I used to?

Matters

2006-09-30T13:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I think I'm a fool to think for one minute that the best year of my life will just happen...if I am lucky. I'm a fool to believe that I lack what it takes to make this year a great year, no matter what I am doing or what is happening in my life, and even if...things around me appear to be out of my control.

I often allow thoughts like "What if I'm not able to..." or "What if I can't handle..." or "What if I fail..." or "what if nobody appreciates..." or "what if nobody likes..." trick me into believing I can't succeed or trick me into believing that I'm different from others, whatever you deem fit. I can quite safely say that most of you have these thoughts like I do.

For some reason, I feel like I owe this great life, and the thought of having to do something to create it makes me mad but, I've realised that it drives me to make empowering choices for myself.

A depth to who we are, so uncharted

2006-09-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

If taking the risk to make a day special could touch someone to the point of sheer ecstasy, and inspire them to go out and affect another, wouldn't life be more fulfilling and exciting. Most of us are always waiting for the right time or the right moment to make our days special.

Do you have any unforgettable days? Days that leave a lasting impression on you. When you are in your room, sitting at your desk and you think of those days, you unwittingly smile and there is a distant look in your eyes and in those eyes, you see tenderness.

I personally love these special days. Do you?

I've recently been thinking about someone, essentially being able to feel great about himself when everything is going his way. He has a full bank account, people around him are treating him well, his career is soaring and his kids are happy. Besides being happy in this sense, will he feel like, he has a more difficult task? The more difficult task is to accept himself even in the presence of his flaws. Can he imagine having the ability to feel good about himself even when he's feeling unworthy, insecured or scared about just, some other matters. How about someone who has everything going his way but he accepts himself when he fails to meet his deadlines or show up for his kid's soccer practice.

What I'm saying is that when we love and respect who we are, we naturally feel worthy enough to have it all. We are able to acknowledge that we are both perfect and imperfect and we accept that we will at times be moody, fail in our tasks and make mistakes.

Something else came to my mind while I was at work today.

A woman in love is drunk with something. In my opinion, it's like a powerful chemical syrup that permeates her cells. The power she harnesses can heal the world. A woman in love can do the impossible. If a woman is not in love, she lacks energy and she can lack the will to live.

Now, what do I mean by a woman being in love? It could be with herself, with a man, a child or even with her job. It's up to your imagination.

There are times when we feel imprisoned and we want to spring free. We cry, we laugh. We love and want those deep belly laughs. We hold memory close to our hearts and live for the day when we will laugh that way again. Youth is not a great prize and age a sad afterthought. If anything, youth well, is the bud and age...is perhaps, when we blossom.

Jaded

2006-09-25T10:31:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've felt so jaded. I wonder why I'm singing...

"I saw an old friend of ours today, she asked about you, I didn't quite know what to say"

"I've almost shook these blues"

"You're such a sly one with your cold cold heart"

Singing and singing, never getting sick of the words and rhythms.

"I don't like you, because you are dangerous..."

The blame game/righteous positions

2006-09-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

It is human nature to always want to blame others. The rules of this game are as follows: It's not my fault, it's your fault. I didn't do it, and I am going to make you suffer even if I have to destroy my life in the process. The game is to look for any person, place, or thing and make them responsible for what's going on (or not going on) in your life. It's a game where nobody wins.

Rich people are greedy
Women should be passive
Everyone should graduate from college
Death is bad
Failing is bad
Everyone should leave happy
Republicans are big-business fascists who care only about money
People are idiolts
Men have it easy
Divorce is bad
Anger is bad
Hate is bad
People shouldn't be judgmental
It's a dog-eat-dog world
I don't need anybody
I'm right and you're wrong

"There's a hole in my sidewalk" (same behaviors over and over again)
Chapter 1
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost, I am helpless
It isn't my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

Chapter 2
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I am in the same place
But, it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in, it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter 5
I walk down another street

Have you ever...

2006-09-18T01:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever...

cried so often over so little

felt queasy and nauseated because of a hot sunny day

felt a bond of unity

read a letter that melted away the anger and rebellion you had been feeling

smiled at someone and exchanged congratulations

found adults to be so ebulliently funny one minute & so introspective the next; so open-hearted and unguarded

noticed how someone's rhythms and gestures reminded you of your grandmother

turned your head to gaze at somebody

met someone's looks and smiled

read books with someone in synchrony

missed good-night kisses

Have you ever...

A note to honey

2006-09-09T23:31:00.001+08:00

"All I needed this morning was a half-hour alone, thirty minutes of peace and quiet to help preserve my sanity, just me, a hot calgon bath, and nothingness."

"Honey, listen closely. Your mommy is going to crack. She's losing her marbles. She's teetering on the edge of permanent personality damage."

It's all right

2006-09-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
It's all right
It's all right

A few stolen moments is all that we share
Though I've tried to resist being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do

If you should feel
That I don’t really care
And that you’re starting to lose ground
Just let me reassure you
That you can count on me
And that I’ll always be around

This young lady...

2006-09-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

She's now quiet, all restlessness spent. Anger no longer fills the nooks and crannies of her soul. People once said she had a face so black that she absorbed everything around her, midnight had wrapped itself around this young lady. One day she looked in the mirror and saw remnants of a trampled flower.

The dynamic behind this is interesting. She didn't want to probe deeply to determine what was wrong and she cared so much about others that she was being overly concerned with offending others. Others did not bother to ask, did not bother to want to know why, why this young lady was hurting so badly inside, why she was crying in her heart.

She was naive to think that wallowing in self-pity would give her strength to carry on in life. Of course, she never did find the strength she yearned for. It was a ploy she would use against herself, unwittingly buying into it.

She never did believe in anyone. She couldn't make assertive decisions. She couldn't decide who her real friends were. She didn't understand why people would make her feel so worthy for a moment and lousy the next. She had a myriad of questions lingering in her mind, why, why, why. Everyday, she would write her diary but in her journals, the anguish remained. The diary couldn't quite help relinquish her hurt because it was flooded with accumulated emotions and tears from her past.

Often, she would get angry at herself for not being able to focus, for lagging behind others, for her silly mistakes. She embraced her life with a lack of passion, power and pride. She wanted to be different from others, wanted to be authentic, wanted to be, herself.

She didn't have an easy journey making her way out of that black pit. She felt so vulnerable because no one could help her, on her own, she had to fight. She hated it when others made it before her. She hated it when her path disappeared into a vague impression. She hated it when others got what she wished for.

This young lady. She's not just any young lady. She does not have high cheekbones that accentuate a feminine nose, she does not have a killer smile, she does not have elegant eyebrows. Looking back at the shards of what was then her mirror, she saw a weak and pale girl. She is thankful that she does not see a beauty when she looks into a mirror, she is thankful when she looks within her soul.

Her strong will continues to carry her lithe body each day on sidewalks. Everyday, she returns home, nourished by nature's embrace and sure of her perfection. This young lady, she melts at the innocence of a child, she would do anything to induce a giggle from a child. This young lady, she's not just any young woman. If she's nice to you, she means it. If she likes you, she really does. If she loves you, she wants a picture taken with you so that she can be with you forever. You see, she does not go for the simple things in life. If she gives love, she's giving you her heart with it. She will be counting on you, to keep it safe from harm.

This young lady...

Insensitive, Jann Arden

2006-09-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

How do you cool your lips
after a summer's kiss
how do you rid the sweat
after the body bliss
how do you turn your eyes
from the romantic glare
how do you block the sound
of a voice you'd know anywhere
I really should have known
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
the casual goodbyes
by the chill in your embrace
the expression on your face
that told me
maybe you might have some advice to give
on how to be
insensitive
How do you numb your skin
after the warmest touch
how do you slow your blood
after the body rush
how do you free your soul
after you've found a friend
how do you teach your heart
its a crime to fall in love again
Oh, you probably wont remember me
its probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
who went ahead and fell for you
I am out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
some advice to give on how to be
insensitive

To really love a woman - Bryan Adams

2006-09-03T04:41:00.000+08:00

To really love a woman
Let her hold you
til you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

Tell Me Where It Hurts

2006-08-31T19:45:00.000+08:00

Just tell me where it hurts now baby,
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Why is that sad look in you eyes
Why are you crying
Tell me now tell me now
Tell me why you're feeling this way
I hate to see you so down
Oh baby is it your heart
Ooh Breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything I can do
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Girl tell me, where are all those tears coming from
Why are they fallin'
Did somebody somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold give me a chance to put back all the pieces
Take your broken heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Baby, If you'd only tell me where it hurts I know I can make it better.
If I could wrap my arms around your heart
I'd would hold you tight, and let you know everything is gonna be allright.
So take a chance with me baby. I dont wanna see you cry.
Is it your heart Ooh that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything I can do
Tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away Just tell me where
it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away

Understand by Christina Aguilera

2006-08-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

i made you think, you don't understand.

i used to think that happiness could only be something
that happened to somebody else
everybody believed, everybody but me, yeah yeah
and i've been hurt so many times before,
that my hopes was dying, so sick of trying
everybody could see, everybody but me, yeah yeah
but then you came into my life, you opened up my softer side
and now i can see into your eyes
and suddenly, i realize.

i made you think, you don't understand
all the times you didn't understand,
why you couldn't just be my man.
i made you think, you don't understand
there were many walls you had to climb,
if you really wanted to be mine.
i made you think, you don't understand
after all the hoops i put you through,
now i see that i'm in love with you

now, i hope you finally understand.

so many tears i've had to cry,
but you had many more of your own you had to try
but you stuck it out and you're here with me now, yeah yeah
and rememberin' the days i pushed away your love,
you called my bluff and you still stayed around,
yeah you figured me out
said, you got me down
and there's no way to lie to you, you know me better than i do

baby, ooh, you see me through,
i'd be no good without you.

i made you think, you don't understand
all the times you didn't understand,
why you just couldn't be my man
i made you think, you don't understand
there were many walls you had to climb (yeah)
if you really wanted to be mine (ooh)
i made you think, you don't understand
after all the hoops i put you through (through)
now i see that i'm in love with you

now, i hope you finally understand

ohh.

baby, won't you listen now
can't you see just what i'm talking about?
said baby won't you listen now
can't you see just what i'm talking about?

time went on, and i was wrong
to keep my distance for so long.
so afraid, you wouldn't stay
but you never turned away

always right by my side
you're forever in my life
don't you go
'cause now i know
that in you i found a home.

now i can see into your eyes
suddenly, i realize.

i made you think, you don't understand
all the times you didn't understand
why you just couldn't be my man
i made you think, you don't understand
there were many walls you had to climb,
if you really wanted to be mine
i made you think, you don't understand
after all the hoops i put you through
now i see i'm in love with you.

now, i hope you finally understand.

i made you think, you don't understand.

The pampered idiolts???

2006-08-22T13:43:00.000+08:00

"Why does it have to be like this?"

"....doesn't give a shit about some young kid in designer jeans and a branded T-shirt."

"... young people are notorious for being unable to step out of their own skin for a moment and take a look at themselves."

When thoughts are a luxury

2006-08-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

I was just sitting at my study desk with my notes staring right in front of me when I began on a wandering journey.

Something struck my mind...

I thought to myself, we all have flaws in our logic from time to time but, our learning journey manifests and formulates our logic through what we will experience, what we will learn and what we will be exposed to.

To summarize,
With articulation, there will be fufillment.

I shall now end my wandering journey.

2006-08-19T12:07:00.000+08:00

Christina Aguilera - Candyman

2006-08-19T00:59:00.000+08:00

Killer Whale and Trainer

Something educational..(:

Exercising Indoors

2006-08-18T17:47:00.000+08:00

I've just finished:

-changing my bedsheet/comforter yadda yadda
-doing the laundry
-vacuuming the floor
-washing the toilet
-mopping the floor
-tidying up the living room

Good exercise.

The Multiplier Effect

2006-08-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

Thanks bernice..lol..

This insect

2006-08-18T12:48:00.000+08:00

:D

Something peculiar happened when I started writing my answer for Econs question 1.

A freaky spider crawled on my hand. Initally, I thought it was my long hair tickling but, when my eyeballs saw this...translucent, long eight-legged spider, it went the size of a golfball. It was really disgusting, I tell you. I couldn't shriek out loud because I was in the exam hall. Let me find a picture quite similar to it...

Children below the age of 5 strictly not permitted to continue reading this entry. (You have been warned)

You will scroll anyway...

Scary? No?

I flung it off my hand and guess where it flew to?

:D

Heh, the idiotic guy who was sitting beside me who was making plenty of noise with his shoes. He kept fidgeting on his chair, it was really annoying but, I tried not to let those bother me. After all, I got my revenge. Lol.

Nah, I'm just kidding...prolly some invigilator stepped on it..lol..

3 cheers for spider!

Concentration

2006-08-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

Concentration: the ability to direct your thinking.

You're studying and your attention strays to all the other homework you have, to a date, to the fact that you're hungry. Say to yourself,

"Be here now"

Focus back on subject with questions, summarizing, outlining and mapping and maintain your attention there as long as possible.

When it wanders again, repeat

"Be here now"
(This time with some tone emphasis like, be HERE NOW)

Tricia's unsophisticated thesis on good concentration:

Turn off computer, keep all edibles away from sight.

What is selfishness, really?

2006-08-16T14:39:00.000+08:00

A successful business woman gave up her career to care for her seriously ill husband. An aquaintance commented 'oh how unselfish you are to make such a sacrifice'. Naturally and quite rightly the woman was furious with such an insult and answered "I love my husband, this is the most selfish thing I have ever done!".

For her, being selfless and making sacrifices would have meant giving up her husband for the career. Its the same whenever anyone chooses one value over another - regardless of whats being chosen the person is chosing for and by themselves - essentially being 'selfish'. Look over the choices you make. Perhaps you volunteer some charity work? Because YOU choose to do it over the alternatives, you want to, you value it - you, you, you, self, self, self. Do you see what I am getting at?

2006-08-15T15:21:00.000+08:00

Final Fantasy Piano Medley

Some Piano.. (:
I think 04:40 till the end is THE BEST. Look at how his fingers danced along the length of the keys. Simply amazing.

2006-08-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

Chromatic Scale

2006-08-15T15:07:00.000+08:00

Clarinet

Her tone is strong, don't you agree?

2006-08-15T15:05:00.000+08:00

Clarinet

Look at this girl play. She's so young..

2006-08-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

Christina Aguilera - At Last

One of my favourites.

Run of the Mill

2006-08-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the morning. House was in the state of silence. Ate my breakfast. Drank a cup of milk. The hall reverberated the sound of my footsteps as I walked to my room to gather the laundry. After soaping and rinsing the clothes, I left the laundry in the machine to spin. I hung the clothes and took them out to dry. Shortly, aunty came. Bought lunch for me to eat. Had a chat with her. Have not spoken so much for what seems like a year. Took in the clothes. They smelt nice and fresh. I feel proud of my proficiency. (:

Targets:

Management: A

Macroeconomics: B

Accountings: D

I'll be glad to just pass POA. Okay, maybe a C. (:

A Love Story

2006-08-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to explain in words how much I want to do the things that I used to do. Those were like my love stories.

2006-08-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within - Live In London

Will you sing it for me..?

Mental Activity

2006-08-11T13:51:00.000+08:00

I'm not proud to admit this but, I've been talking a whole lot lesser. I have always had the flexibility to converse, with the right people of course.

It is amazing to think how much life can change in only a few years. Looking back 3 years, I can see myself being anxious to graduate from Hillgrove, to an idea of independence. I was thrilled at the prospect of making new friends in a new place.

I suppose there are points in life when I need to stop and be thankful for how blessed I have been.

Alienated

2006-08-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

How does it feels like, watching NDP alone? Ha Ha.

Recently, it feels like there are few people I can chat with in MSN.

People, humph, they come and go.

The Plague

2006-08-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

I did a mass removal of pictures in friendster. Too much unwanted attention and annoyances creeping into my life. Edited my blog contents and planning to delete archives.

We take purposeful actions to get joy and avoid grief, and we will go to great lengths to gain control over these situations.

We are always asking ourselves questions. Sometimes these questions will hurt us more than they'll help us, so it is important to conciously think of questions that will help empower us.

An important human need: Belonging/Love

Expiry Day

2006-08-07T14:01:00.000+08:00

Time flies. I'm coming to the end of my first sem. I may be gone after my second sem. Lol. Who knows what will happen? My blog may be disconcerted by............hiatuses of thoughts...........

Embrace me tight and hold my hand...

I smell durian.

2006-07-31T17:15:00.000+08:00

Someone made my day in the Morning! Ha Ha. Sarah gave me a packet of Yupi worms in return for helping her print some notes. Lol. Sarah, can I print more notes for you? Ha Ha! Did you know I like those gummies? Lol. I enjoyed that packet. Thanks loads. =D

I made some cookies over the weekend. Lol. I didn't study..O.O

2006-07-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

Christina Aguilera - Fighter

2006-07-18T20:11:00.000+08:00

I was just feeling good about myself when someone told me something....man. Don't bad things come to an end? Bah!

Anyway, sometimes its hard for one to not get involved in things under circumstances.

In life, we don't always do the things we like, right?

We do things that we don't like too.

I'm trying to understand this. Really trying.

Also trying to work this out.

I will and I can do it!

Btw,

I'm smarter than I think I am! Thanks Kenny, for telling me this. I remember it very vividly in my mind and in my heart.

Since no one will tell this to me, I will.

Everything is gonna be all right.

-Reaching out to faith, like faith reaching into my heart.

2006-07-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

It's my third time entering an entry.

I have so much to say but i don't know where to begin with.

Or, perhaps, there's no one I can share my thoughts with.

Isn't this world ugly.

Yes, it is without doubts, ugly.

You think you know but, seriously, what do you know?

Haha..Indeed.

2006-07-13T18:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes its so hard to believe. Talk about believing. Ha Ha. Its wasting my youth believing things that are deemed impossible. Don't tell me that nothing is impossible. In my life, THIS is impossible. Why am I the one, why can't it be someone else. The good gets nothing in return but a pack of lies and ugly truths. UGLY truths that cut right into your heart. Making you yell in pain and agony. How distressing. This stupid ugly life.

2006-07-12T02:25:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I've recently been wondering why everything is going haywire in my life. Pass me the wire cutter.

2006-07-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

Sheena Easton- Almost Over You

Video of the song lyrics I posted. It's kinda old, but it speaks volumes. =)

2006-07-10T23:22:00.001+08:00

I saw an old friend of our today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to
you've been makin' the rounds round here
While I've been tryin' to make the tears disappear
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leavin' come easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever but I'm lettin' you go
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
I can forgive you and soon
I'll forget all my shattered dreams
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

Song title: Almost Over You. Nice song..=D

2006-07-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

2006-07-10T17:11:00.000+08:00

I'm still feeling emo. I suddenly have this urge for a movie marathon. Korean and Western movies. Any recommendations? =)

2006-07-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

Entry deleted.

2006-07-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

Bernice, someone loves you. <3

Lol..
<3<3<3

2006-07-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

THINGS TO COMPLETE BY 5PM.

1) SAM Training 2 (DREAD THIS)
2) POA Tutorial Homework
3) Read & Share for LMS
4) IAC Video
5) Get group member's pictures to put in video
6) BCA Unit P

Hmm, did I miss out anything?

I feel ratherrrrrr uhhh, somber? this afternoon.

Argh...got to scram..by 5pm. O.o

2006-07-07T14:57:00.000+08:00

So, half the day is almost gone. I'm so tired today. Drained energy due to yesterday's event. Lol. I'll put more pictures soon. I removed a few earlier for some private reasons. LMS today was crazy but fun. Lol. Our group thought we finished everything with the report but we didnt do learning points and recommendations!.We quickly typed in and went to print. Everything was so impromptu and quick. After like 10mins, we all sat down, heaved a sigh of relief when Chat thought of something we didn't do. TEAM EVALUATION. Our faces were filled with disbelief but then we quickly started doing the thingy. The whole process was pretty funny. Hehe...rushing and rushing. I want to sleep now.. :( back to blog later...

2006-07-03T19:53:00.000+08:00

OEI Byon, can put a nicer pic of me? That one so ugly lei. Tsk tsk. I shall take revenge. Lol.

2006-07-03T18:15:00.000+08:00

Don't talk about today.

It was a bad day.

Like, totally.

Why is it so unfair.

Don't tell me about the theory that life is always unfair.

It's just a lame excuse.

It isn't a reason.

Forget it...

2006-07-02T01:01:00.000+08:00

Had a bad day today. Was feeling moody right from the morning. It's probably because of school work. Sigh.

I didn't tell my parents about my results.

So afraid that they'll think I've turned stupid-er.

I've recently been hiding things from them.

I feel sad inside.

I just do not have the courage to tell them.

:(

2006-06-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

Good day everyone. Was not in very high spirits in the morning but the LMS presentations brightened up my day. =) Thanks Jac, for helping us with the video and storyboard. Going to the library later. Might buy dinner for my brother & I cause Mom's out. After that, I'll do all my homework. And. Sleep. I need some sleep...the IAC video has been putting pressure on my brain. O.O

2006-06-29T22:09:00.000+08:00

When I had my permed hair, people said I look like an angel. Not saying I'm pretty or whatsoever. Just the angelic hair. Now, I have rebonded hair and people say I look like sadako. Is this the way its spelt? So, is it better being the angel or sadako? Talking about angel, when I'm an angel, no one notices. When I'm not an angel, people notice. People are getting unappreciative. Oh well, I guess this is the way life is. I shall be an evil sadako. Someone give me papers to fold a thousand cranes. Thanks.

Break down my walls, with the strength of your love.

2006-06-28T18:44:00.000+08:00

America's Funniest Home Videos - Boo!

Watch this! It's funny. HAHA.

2006-06-27T17:32:00.000+08:00

Funny Beer Commercial

Happened to anyone of you before? Hahahaha...

2006-06-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

Funny Commercial

LOL. Should try tt one day when sitting in a car. HAHA

2006-06-26T16:58:00.000+08:00

I cut my thumb while opening a plastic cap. Can imagine how sharp the plastic is. O.O

While I'm blogging, there's some renovation works going on above me.

I'm trying my best not to think about it although my room floor seems to be vibrating, a lot.

POA tutorial today was quite fun. :D

I enjoyed it although I didn't really understand everything 100%.

GUESS WHAT! :D

I PASSED POA!

PASSED. PASSED!!!

I'm not eligible for the re-test!!!!!!

Although I didn't get an A or a B, I'm still glad. :D

REALLY GLAD.

I've never been a Math person, in my life.

Anyway, I just came online to say I PASSED Poa.

Teeheehee :D

2006-06-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

:D

School is starting tomorrow.

I'm getting my results. Great. I've prepared myself. For the worst. :D

The second term consists of definitely more dreadful group works, assignments and quizes.

Shall not elaborate further on school. Lol. It's eerie. *shivers*

Anyway, I'm sort of getting used to campus life. So, shall not rant too much.

Colouring of hair makes hair really dry. It's a good thing I merely highlighted a little. So little you won't know I highlighted. =D I still have my black hair..hehe. Black is good k...

I kinda miss my curls. Lol...maybe after I get sick of my current hair, I'll go perm again. I did spa perm the other time. This time, maybe I'll try ceramic. See what's the difference. =D
Same hairstylist? Definitely. Lol.

I've been thinking. What would my life be if I had gone to a JC. What would I be doing now.

I've also been thinking if I should leave my cca. It's just the wrong thing...

This term, I'll make everything right.

Bugger off to those who try to put me down.

FIGHTER!

Bahhh!

2006-06-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

Fighter

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true I guess I,
I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames '
Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

2006-06-24T13:16:00.000+08:00

I know I've been ranting a lot these days. I can't help it...=(

I skipped band practice today.

I don't feel wanted.

Concerts and competitions are never ending in this band.

Year 1s are always put aside.

When will the light shine on us.

Why am I so unlucky to have joined a band when it's purpose its to focus on a competition at this point of time.

Then, I won't have a chance to be a part of the band, right.

Talking about being recognized, I don't even have the right to be.

Isn't it...

It's the first time I skipped band practice IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

It sort of tells you how dreadful I feel this whole thing is,

If you know me well, that is.

2006-06-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

Christina Aguilera

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, watch it and you won't regret. I promise. =)

2006-06-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

I threw cherry seeds out of my window this afternoon. :D
One day I'll see cherry trees just outside my window.

You might not ever get rich, ha
Let me tell you it's better than digging a ditch
There ain't no telling who you might meet
A movie star or maybe a common thief
Working at the car wash (oh oh, yeah yeah)
At the car wash, yeah (ooh, yeah yeah)
At the car wash (sing it with me now)
Working at the car wash, yeah
Come summer the work gets kind of hard
This ain't no place to be if you're planning on being a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you're acting like a fool
Working at the car wash (oh oh, yeah yeah)
At the car wash, yeah (ooh ooh ooh)
At the car wash (ow said, now come and work it with me now, yeah)

Car Wash :D

Bikini Babes & Foam. :D

You tuna fish, I know what you're thinking.

You wanna work at the car wash. YEAH.

Steamboaty tomorrow. I'm gonna burn prawns alive. See them squiggle and wiggle on the hot plate. Oh yea baby...

Hard gay is seriously very funny. Lol. "HARD GAY!! HOOOO~~~" Lol. =D

Presenting the handsomes caught in acts lol.

Byon the great!

Fuddy my beloved! Tadaaaa~

Both of them are really great guys :D

Aren't they charming? Lol.

I'm proud of this picture. Can you feel my aura..lol.

LOVESxoxo.

2006-06-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

Just read my dear DENISE's blog. Dear cousin, you really blog a whole lot...! Thanks for your testimonial. I hope you are reading this. Lol. Maybe i should ask you out one day so you get to go out more. Ha Ha!!! I'm sure your mom will let u go out with me, right? Lol. In good hands..HA HA!! Btw, your sister, prolly used you to de-stress. Don't worry much about it, all right? Your mom knows you the best. We all know you have grown so much and you know what you are doing. =)

Oh man, everything has been going on bad. I keep lamenting the fact that this so called term break is for us to have "family time" as said by the principal. I'm sure everyone knows what a break is. In any case, I freaking have to complete at least 3 projects and a couple of other assignments. What kind of break is this, you tell me, hmm? Apparently, the definition of break is not very well defined in the aspect of education in Singapore. Despite reckonings to the contrary that we must be assiduous since we are business students, there are actually students not doing much in times of project work. Some students, they absolutely hate business, but has undertaken it in vain that they will get a decent job when they graduate. I've been so pessimistic recently, really. I keep thinking darkness is gonna come engulf me. Like, the whole world is gonna turn bleak on me. Sometimes, I'm not able to fathom. Occasionally, I would run across a beam of light. I try not to stray, focusing, just to follow it. Hoping that one day, in delusional hope that I would make it. I know something is going to happen one day and I'm awaiting it.

Met up with Wan Yu and Fuddy yesterday. Wan Yu and I went shopping, met Fud for dinner. We bought KFC to eat at his place. In a way, it was like a visit to aunty. =) Saw Thaddeus. He's gonna be one cute hunk one day. We slacked in Fud's room. He showed us some shockingly repellent videos. Lol. Wan Yu & I know we have to be on our guards in school. Thanks Fud for sharing with us. We love ya. We took pictures, as usual. Fud is so much more charming now and Wan Yu as beautiful as always. Gathering with them made me feel so much more worth to be alive. I've not felt so worthy for so long that I've forgotten how it feels like to be treasured. To feel special and most importantly, to be loved and to be understood. Have you ever felt special because someone loves you for what is innate in you. They understand every sentence you say, the reasons behind it and will never deem you proud or ignorant for anything dumb that you say. Simply because they understand you and that's what really great.

2006-06-19T14:53:00.000+08:00

10 reasons why it sucks to be a leader.

1) You have to accommodate to your members time. (ALWAYS)

2) You have to clear all the shit.

3) You have technological uncertainties.

4) You are always the one who will bring the notebook.

5) You have to note deadlines and inform all members.

6) You have to consider risks factors.

7) You have to ensure coherent discussions.

8) You have to listen to their lame excuses. (MOST OF THE TIME)

9) You have to put up with member's gibberish. (ALL THE TIME)

10) You are responsible for their grades. (MATTERS TO THEM THEIR WHOLE LIFE TIME)

Now, doesn't it suck to be a leader. =(

Well, I'm SICK of it. =(

SAVE ME...........................

2006-06-18T01:59:00.000+08:00

Today's band practice was rather good. As usual, blur at some parts. Ha Ha. You know what I'm talking about. Went to make a new specs today! =D Watched a movie with my family and ate supper with my family. Lol. Dad's appetite was really good. I wonder why? Ha Ha Ha.

2006-06-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

And so, I'm not going for Sean's concert. I'm so sorry Sean...just that everyone decided not to go and go at the last minute.

2006-06-12T17:00:00.000+08:00

Just spoke to wan yu and apple on the phone. Lol. Was quite fun just having that 1min talk. HAHAHAHAHA.I shall not disclose what I just heard. Apple, you rock...!! Lol.

2006-06-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

Went for 2 concerts today. =) One was at Esplanade. You know something called beautiful Sunday? Yu Hua & River Valley Alumni bands combined to form uhhh, what's the band's name? Yu Hua & River Valley Alumni, I think. The guy who played the trumpet solo was indeed an eye-opener. The concert was really good. Very entertaining.It wasn't those which makes people want to fall asleep. Ha Ha. The 2nd one was at NAFA by Siglap Secondary School Concert Band. Hmm, for a secondary school, they are all right. He He. Though their winter in the 1730s was O.O. I know I sound really boring in this post. I'm tired. Ran here and there to catch concerts. I'm always rushing to concerts. By the way, Singapore Idol is probably the worst show on channel 5 now. I don't know why I should watch it. All the contestants can't sing. They have got no personality and style. Look at the way the girl sang, her eyes were looking down on the ground the whole time like something was wrong with her eyeballs. Her hair makes her look like she just came out from a rubbish chute...=( Singapore Idol=Shit Idols

2006-06-09T14:39:00.000+08:00

I'm now doing project in school. Teeheehee. Went to rebond, highlight and treat my hair..! =D I told joanne i want only a little highlighting. She did it exactly the way I want it to turn out. And she chose a really nice colour for me. I'm glad with the results. =D Now I don't have to spend time curling my hair after every shower and can spend more time on my work. Anyway, the past few days were really mad. Rushed out the report for submission. I thought we could just collate everything, combine and form the report. Oh well, things didn't really turn out the way I thought it should be. I was pretty mad, to be honest. I tried not to show it. I hope such things will not happen again. I don't know when I'll break this whole sweet thing. I can be patient and nice but I expect things to be done on time. If things are to be done, then do a good one...

2006-06-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

I'm very sad today. My hairstylist is on leave..!!!!!! Can you believe this..omg...I was so excited yesterday and she's on leave today. Lol. I think I can only make it this Sat. Unless written comm ends early tomorrow I might still have time. Friday is LMS. And I have not decided which day to do IAC. Man. What kind of holiday is this. I thought no activites were supposed to go on. Like real. Sigh* When I think of the clarinet I use in band...it dampens my mood. When I think of the silly comments made by others, I feel really lousy. Previously someone told me "just play lah, don't look down on yourself". I wasn't even looking down on myself. Was she insinuating that she looked down on me. Another said "Eh, don't slack leh." This sentence TOTALLY spoiled my mood. If I had wanted to slack, I wouldn't even turn up for band practice. The thing IS that I couldn't even go to the 3rd running note on time. I couldn't even keep up in the first beat. I couldn't even start playing. Sorry, but I'm very sensitive to comments made by people. Even if I really wasn't playing, I really really wish I could have played. I wish I can play like you guys. I wish I could play along with all of you. But, can you guys please think of how long I have not touched a clarinet. It's almost a year! How good do you guys expect me to be? And when we play songs more suited to the year one students, you guys say "eh, this kind of songs can play meh", "wah lau sian". Can you all be more sensitive to others. Please remember there are year 1 students all around. What kind of impression would you convey? I've sincerely had enough of all these comments made. Weren't you guys ONCE year 1 students? Didn't YOUR seniors lower their standards to accommodate you? Hmm? Didn't YOUR seniors teach you, guide you and befriend you? Hmm??! Weren't YOUR seniors patient with you? Huh? Did you like people throwing silly and untrue words right in your face? Hmm?! I BET you didn't. When I had juniors joining me, I didn't pass silly comments. I didn't say any untrue words. I didn't say "uhhhhh.." when an easier piece was played. In fact, I ENJOYED playing with them because in a way, it was like cultivating stronger bonds among us. It was all about playing in UNISON. It wasn't about who can play RUNNING NOTES or MAJOR DIFFICULT PARTS. IT WAS ABOUT UNITY. A band with good players which doesn't listen to others is NOTHING. Another thing is I hate and I really really HATE the way year 2 and 3 students address us. 'FRESHIES'. This word sounds so irritating, all right? Stop calling us FRESHIES. I rather you guys call us FRESHMEN. I'm sorry. I'm rarely so forth-right. It's just that I couldn't bottle these all up in my heart anymore. No. I would not keep this to myself anymore. I'm sorry if I offended anyone reading this but, rarely does one think of other people's feelings when one is so superior. I apologise for my bluntness. I just hate it when people are so typical. People claim they are nice and kind people but, what is it that they have done that makes them nice and kind? Are they included when they ONCE passed stupid comments? Are they still nice? Can you tell me? If you are one such person, do you really still think you're nice? Hmm?

2006-06-05T11:54:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of CT! Muahh. I plan to go and reperm/highlight my hair tomorrow. Is it too soon? Lol. I can't wait! Ha Ha! Then again, I might change my plan to go shopping instead! Ha Ha!! I need to call my hairstylist to confirm. =) I've had my permed hair since O levels. It's already about 7 months? Novermber, December, January, Febuary, March, April & May. Seven Months. =D And it's still good. The rebonded part is still very good. I'm going to change my hair style too. He He. Tomorrow I shall decide. =D It's hundreds of dollars. O.O Man, I'm going to study Macro now. Bless me. Ha Ha Ha Ha. Best to all those taking Macro especially my class. TODAY. IS A SPECIAL DAY! =DD It's my beloved wan yu's 18th birthday! =) Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you! Wan Yu, may you be blessed with many happy returns. May you enjoy everylasting love with Randolph. =) You know we the sisters love you so, right? He He. We LOVE you. AND. Your cookies. =D We want TIRAMISU!

2006-06-03T11:35:00.000+08:00

Done with POA CA today. I think I'll probably just pass or fail. Ha Ha. Everyone thinks its easy. Except me, I guess. Sigh...I want MRS LOO. My LuLu. Lol.Ah Never Mind. I'll make it ultimately. I believe in myself!!! You guys must also believe in me. Lol.

2006-06-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

The expert will not say he is the best. The best will not look down on the poor. The good will not remark on others. It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.I'm telling YOU GUYS particularly, don't ever look down on others. You know who you are. The person who shuts his mouth is esteemed a man of understanding. If you guys think you're good. Think again. It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense. Get it..Don't make me upset. Shhhh.

2006-06-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

Guys. You won't believe this. I'm stranded outside my house. I didn't bring my house key! Mom and Dad went to M'sia and my brother is at work. I've been stranded since 4.30pm. I'm right now sitting outside my house door and it is now 9.10pm. I must really commend my own perseverance. Lol. It's no fun sitting out here you know. It's warm, my back aches, my legs are numb, my butt hurts and my head is feeling heavy. The toilet seems so near yet so far. I want to bathe )= I'm so thankful for wireless network and luckily I have my laptop with me or I'll be so bored. Sigh...guess I'll end here...

2006-05-31T13:03:00.000+08:00

Today's a bad bad day :( But when I think about my dad's birthday dinner today I smile. XD Anyway, yesterday was really bad. The meeting in class was sigh, I don't know how to put it. What I can say is do unto others what you want others to do unto you and don't do unto others what you don't want to be unto you.

2006-05-30T19:46:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is Daddy's birthday...! =)

2006-05-27T17:41:00.000+08:00

Went for band practice today. Today's practice was, should I say rather scary. Lol. Band leaders were more harsh today, especially the first student conductor. He used vulgar words. =( And the female student leaders were...O.O An eye opener. Very ferocious. *Roars* Lol..my previous bands didn't used to have such straight-forward females. I was like..O.O But the top band leaders are rather nice, I guess..? Patient..!!!!!!! Patience is very important for band leaders. PATIENCE. P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E. PATIENCE PATIENCE. The more I type this word, the weirder how it's being spelt. Funny how it may seem. Lol. There's this guy in clarinet, he's year 1. Same as me..!! But he plays like he is....somewhat a pro, to me. And I wonder whether I've ever met my sectional leader. She's like an imaginery person envisioned in my mind. Her name is Melinda? Somehow, I picture her as a Merlion. Lol...SHHHHHH..keep this to yourself..! Don't tell her okay. =D Lol...We played songs like Shrek's Dance Party, Eagle Bend...is it? We also played scary Alien Mars. This song is so horrid lah...I came out of the band room with a headache. It was like while this Mars song was being played, I pictured aliens blasting away on french horns, trombones and trumpets. This song is so traumatizing. =( I didn't like it. No, I didnt. I swear. Still, a piece of music. I also pictured the conductor of 'Mars' as the head of the aliens. His alien costume was much more complicating. Well, at least he is patient. I swear this is the most important in a guy's character. PATIENCE. Did I mention this earlier? Omg...I'm still traumatized by Mars. Can we play more songs like..uhhh Enka. =D It's kinda outlandish but its nicer than Mars. Lol...I had fun in band, still. =)

2006-05-23T19:47:00.000+08:00

You with the sad eyes
Dont be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And thats why I love you
So dont be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Dont be unhappy, cant remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And youve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know
Ill be there
And Ill see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And thats why I love you
So dont be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow(when I last saw you laughing)
If this world makes you crazy
And youve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know
Ill be there
And Ill see your true colors
Shining through I see your true colors
And thats why I love you
So dont be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
True colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And thats why I love you
So dont be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

2006-05-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

Something tragic happened to me today. I fell down outside my blk's lift because some kiddy dripped ice cream on the ground. My butt. HURTS. Anyway, today's POA lesson was a BLAST. I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND A THING. MAN...Am i gonna live with this or what. *Sigh* Why wasn't I born to be good in math, calculation, science and analysing. I suck at these, seriously. Other than these, I'm cool. Oh man....I feel so sick. WHY WHY WHY!!! It's so OMG. Everything has been going on fine other than yes, POA. I'll try my best as I had promised. It's been eons since I went back to Hillgrove. I wonder how is Ms Teo. =( I hope no one bullies her...she's just a really nice person. You Hillgrovians don't know what's good and what's rotten. Well, perhaps most of you are rancid, that's why. I'm so upset with Hillgrovians suddenly. Oh well, nothing great has seriously happened so far. Besides going for classes and all, I feel so dead. It seems like time is never enough. Time never waits. I've got to key this into my head. Am I complaining here. I guess I am..you guys must be bored reading this post. Well, something to anticipate is Sembawang Wind Orchestra's upcoming concert on 17 June at Victoria Concert Hall! Sean is performing in the youth band..! I can't wait to see him..! Can't wait to see him don that black suit and blast that uhhh...futuristic french horn. =))

2006-05-18T18:16:00.000+08:00

I got stung by a big black ant yesterday and it hurts like hell. The pain is worse than a mosquito's bite and it itches like nobody's business. I was scratching and scratching in school today. I'm at a loss of what to say today. Ha Ha. As I recall what I said to someone weeks ago, I think we have no fate after all. Just forget about everything I have said or do. It's not worth you remembering. There isn't a chance for us to get back together. Never will. Never one to be thwarted by silence, no matter how eloquent.

2006-05-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate SAM. I seriously hate it. It's so problematic. DUH. Anyway, I feel so lost in school. Can't seem to get my feet planted firmly on the ground. This feeling is so dreadful. Feels like the whole world is gonna come crashing down...please don't shut me out. Recently, I've been thinking about my life since the O levels examination. Immediately after my exams, I went to perm my hair which really shocked a lot of people and I have no idea why. It was just something I have been wanting to do since I was in secondary 4. I must say that I really do have patience. Lol. I waited for TWO long years. I was in sec 5 in case you don't know. After that, I went to work for my dad. Gained some experience. Spent money. Went for consultations with my dear aunty phay for a couple of weeks. This was actually my 2nd job as a consultant. Having two jobs, I earned lots of cash which I saved until now. I'm saving for rainy days..in case..you know..something happens to me...I mean seriously, you never know. Ha Ha. Then I met Clifton and all the complications came in. A lot of people were shocked that I got myself involved with a guy. Lol. Maybe I look too DUH or toot or something. Perhaps, I don't look like someone who will be interested in guys? I'm telling you, I LOVE guys. Girls are always so fickle minded. Easily strayed and they can never make quick decisions. Girls are so insistent on their opinions and talk more than they listen. Listening is so important. I learnt this when I was in secondary 5. I used to talk more than listen and I'm changing. Girls are also wishy-washy about stuffs. I mean sometimes I'm like that too. That's why guys are so important. Girls are always afraid to speak up. AND WHAT IS MORE. The problem with some girls is that they act so cute-sy. It's sooooo OMG. I can't stand that. It's like hoping to make a guy want to protect them. I repeat, it's so OMG. Like it's so genuine, huh?. Sigh...and there are LOTS of girls who are like this in NP. OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGG..please cover my eyes. Anyway, I'm nurtured by Hillgrove. I will never stoop so low as to be like that. I am ME. JUST PLAIN ME. Bernice, I'm sure you know what I mean. Sigh, I wish u were here with me. I'm so lost at times I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish you would just shake me to my senses or just scream in my ear and tell me everything is gonna be fine just like what u used to tell me when we were in sec 5. I wish wanyu would comfort me and always make me feel so positive about everything. I wish and I wish...I have so many wishes...I'm never satisfied....everyone just wants to be lying..I hate it..why is everyone trying to act like someone else...why can't they just be themselves. I love people because of their true colours, you know that!!! Don't you?!! Tell me that you do know. Please. Or...is it just me and my assumptions..

2006-05-09T19:16:00.000+08:00

People, I'm so sorry for the change of my blog address. Sorry for the trouble yea? Just wanted a change of add.